Heavenly Dad

The more I go through life and experience that which it has to offer, and give what I have to offer, the more I realise that My God is my heavenly dad. It’s interesting to know that the jewish word Abba, used sometimes to refer to God, means daddy as we would say it. An affectionate term of love between child and father. He’s my daddy in heaven, loving me, holding onto the bike after taking off the training wheels and yelling out encouragement when I ride down the hill after he’s let go, but always there to pick me up again and kiss my hurts better and set me on my feet ready to face the world again.

Part of this journey of realisation has happened very recently and it changed my view of God from the crusty old distant being who dictates in a booming voice those things that I shall not do, to the daddy and boy in the shed making stuff. The boys hand on the plane and the daddy’s arms wrapped around the boy guiding his hands and offering instruction and gently chiding when the boy makes a mistake. He never angrily punishes the boy for the imperfections of his inexperience but gently pushes him toward a better way.

The part of this journey that I’ve just been through is realising what the 10 commandments are all about, specifically what He’s getting at when He’s telling us not to covet our neighbours anything. (Deut 5:21). I have been guilty of this, of coveting my brother and sister’s families. I am blessed to have an awesome brother and amazing sister, both married and both with their first daughters growing up before me and making me a very proud uncle. They’ve both recently made it known that they’re expecting their second little whatsit in the not too distant future too, which is fantastic news and I’m ecstatic for them. The thing for me is I would love to be married and have a family of my own. A wife and kids to whom I can be a loving husband and daddy. I have to admit that it gets me down sometimes that I haven’t done that yet and that I can’t see it happening in the near future. Really when I get this way it’s pretty much me coveting what my brother and sister have in their families. Sure there’s probably some legit desire there, but it’s made worse by me looking at what they have and wanting it.

The realisation that the advice not to covet my neighbour’s, or in this case my brother and sister’s, stuff is a gentle correction, words of advice softly spoken in my ear to stop me from getting bitter and twisted inside. If you were reading the bible as re-written by me it would go a little something like this.

Don’t covet the fact that Tim and Jen are both married and have kids, that they’re settled and building their families, for you would not be able to do the things I have planned for you, like going to New Zealand at the drop of a hat, and (God willing) going back to uni and (again, God willing) joining the Air Force, if you too had a wife and kids. Don’t worry about your future, your dreams and desires are looked after, so get on with doing what I have for you now and don’t let comparing where you’re at with your brother and sister make what you’re doing now have a bitter after taste in your mouth.

I am so blessed in being able to do what I want to do when I want to. Being able to respond to phone calls on a Wednesday and be in New Zealand on the Monday after is something I wouldn’t be able to do otherwise. Sure it’s on my list that I want a wife and kids but I shouldn’t let that desire make what I’m doing now a bitter and twisted thing. God will give me the dreams and desires of my heart and it’ll probably surprise me big time when it happens, and when it does it’ll be a good thing.

There’s an upside to every situation, but in saying that it also means there’s a trade off. So I trust that my Abba Father has my best interests at heart when he gently scolds me for coveting my sibling’s families and get on with living the life of a single man, enjoying the upside of not being told off for burping and farting my way through life!