how bad do you want this?

I've been challenged by God over the last couple of days regarding quite a few things that are going on in my life and it came to the point tonight where I just had to get it down in some kind of tangible way, and could think of no better way than blogging about it. It's been a while, and I figured this one was worth it.

The title of this one pretty much gives the whole thing away, but it's been the question that God has been asking me all week. I've been praying that I'd get into uni to do medicine and get into the military so I can actually finance it and praying to God that he'd get me in, and the response that I've been getting back has been "How bad do you want this?"

The question led me to the conclusion that I'd better be able to prove it. One of the ways I can is by putting my actions where my mouth is and put the work in to getting ready for this, put the hard yards into training for the physicals and getting my physical endurance up. Putting the time into research and talking to the navy types and getting my knowledge up to scratch about the military and preparedness for the interviews.

The one that really brought myself to the point of writing about this was praying in the car that I really wanted a deeper relationship with God, that I wanted his presence to be written all over my life in a new way... and God came back with "How bad do you want this? well prove it to me!".

There's a couple of things that I'm learning out of this. One is that the scripture that says "Where your treasure is there your heart is" is so true, and the reverse of it works, in that if you want your heart to be somewhere then put your treasure there. Sink your time, your knowledege and your money and treasured things into where you want to be. For me that means spending time on the net researching the job I'm going for, spending time on the phone speaking to military doctors and finding out what they do.

It also means getting down on my knees every night and every morning and praying, reading my bible every day. It's not a religeous thing, but I want my heart to be deeper into God and so I need to put the time in and just do it. It doesn't matter if I'm tired or busy, I need to put my treasure into the places I want to go to.

The second thing I'm learning is that God honours effort. If I put the time in and really work at something that I want He honours that. Sure if I'm not meant to be somewhere in his will then I just won't get there and will end up somewhere else, but if I put the treasure in then God will meet me where I'm at and help me over the line. Mind, it may not be in the timeframe that I think it should be... but that's a whole other story!

Promises

Man, after the weekend that's just been I'm glad I'm a god botherer. Lets just say that I'm glad that I have the promises of God to stand on when life isn't fun. Promises like "The steps of a Good Man are ordered by the Lord" and my LifeVerse which is "All things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purposes".

It's been the kind of weekend where you're left standing wondering why a whole lot of things happened. Why I had to meet a girl, fall hard for her, and have it all fall apart, to still have it kick me in the guts every time I see her. Why I got to achieve my dream of leading a production team making all the production needs of my church happen, to have it crumble to bits. Why it has to hurt and feel like running through treacle.

And then the foundation that I stand on tell me that it's pointless looking back, pointless to think why, but to think where to from here?

I guess without if things had worked out with me and this aforementioned girl, I wouldn't have had the guts and the impetus to apply to go back to uni and apply with the defence forces. Sure I can't see what the things I've been through are going to be used for but the promise is there, God doesn't say how but he'll use the things that have happened.

It's the promises that mean I can stand up face the new day. Thank God that He promises, also, that His mercies are new every morning!

Yeah, this one is very much a testimony as a faith builder, more for me than anything else. Thanks for the patience!