Do Us a Favour

Kings Christian Church has started it’s relationships series in November and has got off to a screaming start with a good down to earth relevant message on why Christianity is relevant to how you conduct your relationships. Good practical stuff and really quite worthwhile getting into you regardless of where you are in your relationship lifecycle, be it single, going out, engaged or married, and for those who have unfortunately had to go through it divorced.

One of the best bits of the night is the panel segment where people, not necessarily preachers, but those in the church, get up and are asked about how they did things, are doing things and how it’s going for them. All sorts of probing questions get asked, and the closing question that was asked was “What is your advice for those single people who are wanting a relationship?” My good friend Richard Griffiths, who was being interviewed that night, came out with the gem “Stop Looking” which is absolutely golden.

There’s a few reasons why looking isn’t such a good thing and my favourite is “you find what you’re looking for” which basically means that if you’re actively looking for a relationship you’ll find it in pretty much every girl that you cross paths with because you’re constantly asking the question “Is she the one?” (Please bear in mind that I’m writing this from my perspective, so if you’re of the female persuasion and reading this substitute the opposite pronoun) Basically you’ve got your target sensors switched to high, your standards overridden and are on a mission to bag yourself a target… well probably not quite that harsh but a wife is to be seen in every girl, even if it’s not the right time and she’s not the best thing for you.

So, do us a favour… a favour to all of those people who are currently single around you. Help us to stop looking. Stop reminding us that we’re single. Stop joking around about going looking for girls, or making comments about the fact that a girl is pretty or nice. If we’re not smart enough to figure that out on our own what hope do we have? If anything the constant reminders, while well meaning or joking, are a bit of a drag really.

If this singleness thing is a season then I want to be running as hard as I can for those things that God has for me in this season without being distracted and slowed down by constant niggling that I should be looking somewhere else. If I’m going to be less effective in this season because I’m getting distracted, I don’t want to be distracted!

If it is a season then God, in his wisdom, will draw that season to a close in his own time with a peace that passes understanding. After all it’s written that God gives us the dreams and desires of our heart. I choose to believe that this is a twofold meaning, in that he puts the dreams and desires there in the first place, then fulfils them once their time has come. God cannot be defined or contained so who knows how he’s going to bring those dreams to pass.

I’ve heard it said that often times God brings a person into your life when you’re running full on. You glance to the side and see someone running along side you. That’s not the end of it though, if you glance over again and they’re still there, and again and they’re still there then you’re probably on to something but don’t stop to find out, just keep running. If they’re meant to stick around they’ll keep up.

I ask the question a whole lot about whether or not I really do trust God in how I live my life and really when you trust God, you let go. I can’t trust God while I’m trying to hold the reins and look for myself. As the words from “Your Sweet Voice” by the Paul Colman Trio go:

I’ll wait for Your sweet voice
Guiding me to the right choice
I’ll wait for Your sweet voice
I’ve gotta let it go, let it go
Yeah your sweet voice

So excuse me if I don’t laugh at the jokes or respond that well to the suggestion that I should get together with such-n-such because she’s such a nice girl. I’ve got a race to run and I don’t need the extra drag right now.

Do us a favour if you’re friends of single people, get around them and be their pit crew (to continue the racing analogy). Encourage them in the things that they are doing, support them and ask the hard questions when they need asking and keep them focussed on the racetrack, not the pretty girls they’re passing on the sidelines.